Are you stressed or worry about money? Do you argue about money with your partner?
You are not alone. Studies show that 3 out of 4 Americans say money is the primary source of stress in their lives. This stress can show up as overspending, not making ‘enough’ money, carrying too much debt, financial crises, or not saving enough for the future.
WHAT ARE CHALLENGES AROUND MONEY?
Money challenges show up as negative financial behaviors. These behaviors evolve from our beliefs about money, and are based on past financial experience. Often these form when we are quite young, whether you realize it or not. These experiences could have been your parents fighting about money, a lost investment, or even someone coming in to bail you out of financial difficulties. Whatever the experience is, if there are a lot of emotions involved (as there often is with money), it can form the foundation for negative financial behaviors. MONEY AND RELATIONSHIPS
An unhealthy relationship with money can show up in our relationships with others. This may include financial dependence on others, or financial enabling others financially, which often hurts both the giver and the receiver (perhaps some parents out there experience this with their adult children?). Other unhealthy behaviors might include acts of financial infidelity where you hide money or spending from your partner.
Money worship involves using money or even accumulating possessions to satisfy our emotional needs. These include overspending, hoarding or compulsive buying (ie: shopaholics). Workaholism is another one we see too often these days– an experience that I have had. For 25 years I chased success in the form of financial wealth. This lead to some financial success, but it had a devastating effect on my health, happiness, and relationships.
Money avoidance is under-spending or extreme risk aversion as we sabotage our ability to make money. There is also financial denial which is ignoring our financial concerns like putting our bills in the drawer and not opening them up or archiving emails from collectors (as some people do with letters from the IRS or student loan collections), or ignoring our bank account so that we don’t have to see how much money we have in the bank.
RESOLVING OUR CHALLENGES AROUND MONEY
Identifying our first experiences with money is the first step to changing our behavior. The next step is to recognize when our money stories arise for us – what events allow these events to show up in our life? This gives us an opportunity to acknowledge them, get curious about the motivation behind the actions or feelings, and change them into healthier habits.
As a financial coach I help you through this process; identify your money stories, the core values at the base of our behaviors around money, and help you create a plan that is in alignment with your goals and objectives.